The Saddest Heart.. T_T

Standing alone on the rooftop of the building really makes me feel at ease..

Don't worry I'm not gonna jump off the building..hahhah..

It's been a long time since I last been here..

Miss this place so much..

So many things happened lately..from the happiest to the saddest..all are in blend..

I guess today is the saddest day of my life..

I know it's gonna change my life forever..

Nobody can accept the fact..so am I..

But I just make myself calm as if I never heard a thing ..

I just walked a few blocks and end up up here..

The same place I've been months ago..

But the condition differed already...

Here still..I feel life is unfair..for a girl like me who always did my best to keep on surviving..

The happiness I felt months before already vanished in a blink of an eye..

So sad..nothing in the world can fix it..

Now I'm just hoping for a miracle..(but I guess there's none)..

And I'm gonna live my life to the full..while I still can..

And I'm gonna appreciate all the people surrounding me better..

There's a  phrase echoes on my mind now..it says..

EVEN THE CLEAR SKY CAN NEVER BRIGHTEN THE SADDEST HEART..

A LIFE NOTE FAREWELL..

Time is passing as it is running..

Without caring what it has left behind..

Moving towards an unidentified fate..

Without even letting me hugging my memories..

What a difficult thing is farewell..

 It stabbes my heart with a virtual dagger..

As the moments proceed with a rush.. 

Trying to keep me avoid from my past..

What the next day is going to bring me..

 I don’t know but I would like to know..

Whether it will be better or worse than yesterday..

Or the same loneliness..

This is not a farewell darling, it is a must..

Wipe the tears from your eyes..

 Everything in the life has an end..

THANK YOU ..

In a language learned..

When no one was listening..

I try my best to tell you how I feel..

Somehow I am sure and this I believe in..

This is real…

From my heart..

I sing to you..

And I´m hoping..

That you’ll understand what I’m trying to say...

Found a place inside of me..

And I’m grateful..

For each day…

A broken wing cannot stop me from flying..

I leave no footprints when you’re around...

“Know yourself” you said..

You made me so proud of what I found…

Oh my god..

I’m losing it..

I’m finally going out of it..

My senses tingle..

I can hardly breathe.. 

Oh my god..

I’m losing it..

I’m finally going out of it..

I feel my heart..

I’m suddenly alive!

Thank you..

Thank you for the world..

Thank you for the life you're making me see..

Inside of me...

The book is open now and the pen keeps on writing..

Story of my life, it starts right here...

Now I reach the stars..

Can grab them and hold them..

With no fear…

I am captivated..

Completely spellbound..

I have found my match...

And the blackbird has flown away..

The blackbird has left me for good...

Poem from afar...

Someone write me a poem and send it to my inbox in FB..
Just wanna share it here..


Jika suatu saat kuingin berlari
Mungkin aku akan mencoba berlari
Menggapai sebuah harapan cinta yang tak pernah lagi ku peluk erat..

Tapi.,disaat raga ku mulai gontai
Aku terpana akan sosok sebuah misteri wajah cantik dan angun dari sebingkai foto indah yang kulihat
Sebuah tembok harapan akan kecerahan sebuah cinta..

Tapi pelangi itu hanya sebentar saja menerangi dunia ku
Karena ku tahu
Sebuah jarak yang mengelabui hatiku yang akan berseri
Namun seakan ingin meredup..

Seandainya ku dapat memilih
Mungkin hati ini ingin ku rapatkan ke awan cerah hatimu..

MENGENALIMU..

Pertemuan kita hanya kebetulan

Mengenalimu sudah kuanggap satu takdir

Tak pernah bersua

Namun selalu bercerita

Aneh tapi nyata

Air mata semalam menjadi saksi

Mengenalimu membawa sejuta keindahan

Melemparkan kekalutan

Menceriakan hati yang sudah lama sepi

Membuka kembali pintu yang sudah lama terkunci

Bagaimana harus aku bicarakan lagi

Hanya hati ini yang merasai dan mengetahui

Segala yang aku pendamkan terhadapmu

Telah banyak perubahan yang kau bawa dalam hidupku

Ketulusanmu manggamit jiwa dan naluriku

Aku menyayangi cerita semalam

Kau dan aku

Bersama dalam dunia maya

Membuatku ku tersenyum menatap bintang

Yang menjadi saksi pertemanan kita

Harapanku

Kita sentiasa teguh

Berlandaskan sebuah keikhlasan

Dan Seberkas kejujuran

Semoga segala mimpi menjadi kenyataan..

NEVER GIVE UP..

Never give up..

that's what I always tell myself..

but sometimes I can't help falling..

Falling ..and falling..and falling.. over and over..

I'm not perfect..

Got lots of flaws in fact..

I do wanna be positive..really I do..

But sometimes, the surroundings didn't support me to be one..

In fact it makes me falling deeper..

My life is so hard..really hard..but I never regret it..

My life is mine..

Mine for the taking..

I didn't enjoy my life as what the girl of my age been doing..

I have to study hard and maintain excellent grade so that I don't lose my scholarship..

Apart from that I do part time jobs just to earn pocket money..

I have no time for myself..no time to pampered myself..but still I manage to smile and laugh at it..

People will not know what I've been through..they are not in the same shoes..

They will never know..

They will never understand..

Some people said that my heart is made of brick..cause I didn't give them positive response when they talked about love to me..

Some people said I just playing hard to get..

I don't mind though..but sorry..I'm not an actress ..playing such a role..

I am a normal girl..I do wanna be loved and loving...

I never denied the fact that I need someone ..

Even if I never said it out loud..

They don't know that I have to sacrifice my own feelings all this while..

Sometimes I felt really lonely..

But as for now I have to focus on my study..

That's my main objective..

And I'm trying to ignore my feeling right now..

It's sure hard..but I'm trying..

and I always believe that there's a sunshine beyond the dark clouds...(^_^)

Just wanna share this vid by YUNA , one of my favourite singers..titled TERUKIR DI BINTANG..

Jika engkau minta intan permata tak mungkin ku mampu..
Tapi sayang..
Kan ku capai bintang dari langit untukmu..
Jika engkau minta satu dunia akan aku coba..
Ku hanya mampu jadi milikmu pastikan kau bahagia..

Hati ini bukan milik ku lagi..
Seribu tahun pun ..
Akan ku nantikan… kamu…

Sayangku
Jangan kau persoalkan siapa dihatiku
Terukir di bintang tak mungkin hilang cintaku padamu..