FB FRIENDS...

A lot of things happened lately..some were happy..some were sad..some were funny..some were teary..
Life indeed is full of surprises..
It has been 4 months, me and my new friends in FB..before this I never have friends out of my boundaries..most of them are from my schooldays and college..I once had yahoo account...but it lead to tragedy..I'm still phobia till now..that's why when people ask me " do you have yahoo account??" I always reply "no"..coz I really don't want to be in the same tragedy twice..
Even if I don't know most of friends in my FB..but I'm glad to be with them even just in FB, without seeing their faces in real life and never listen to their voices.. I am not the snobbish type of girl..I can be friends to just anybody regardless of their ages, status or social ranks..for me,  we are all the same..
There's a lot of things I learned from my new friends in FB...things about life and friendship..I know it's normal when people think of me me negatively, I admit that I'm hurt inside but still I'm fine with it..
I know there are some of my friends in FB care for me so much even if they didn't show it..I know who they are..Thanks for your supports even from afar..
I am thankful to those friends who never left my wall empty, who always put their thumbs to my status, who always commenting on my status n posting on my wall...thanks to you guys so much ..my life will be so lonely and empty without you guys..
For those who admire me and have crushes on me, I really appreciate it..even if I can't give positive response towards it..don't hate me for my responses..hahahha !! (^_^)...feel free to be my friends even not my lover..!!
I have to admit, among all those guys in my FB, I do like one of them..and I hope one day, after I finished my study, he would still be single and available..hahhaha!! If not, I will have to find someone new..!!
Let's just God plays His role on this..for God knows best..!!
I hope by that time, the shadow of Andy won't haunting me again..
In just a few weeks I will be enrolled in UNSW, Sydney Australia..
I got 3 offers for master programme..one in Canterbury New Zealand, one in my ex-univ, British Columbia and one in UNSW Sydney..I got scholarships offered for all those three..
People may ask why do I choose Sydney ?? I have my own reasons for that :
1) I've been offered my favorite course
2) I've got scholarship for the course
3) The distance from Sydney and Malaysia is not that far ( 8 hour-flight ) compared to Canada and New Zealand, so it is easier for me to visit my parents' and Febrina's graveyard, once in a while..if not that often..
4) Farther from my brother, that's what I want all this time, I don't want to mention why, but there's something happened back then..
Enough of my writing today..heheh!!
Suddenly I felt sad..but I don't choose to be on the sad mode now..
That's all for now..

PS: To all my friends in FB, thank you for adding some colours to my life..!! (^_^)

THE DREAM..

Today I can't stop thinking about the dream that haunting me lately..
I kept dreaming of those who are dear to me,  who have passed away..Andy and Febby..
I was so happy to see Andy once again even in the dream only..he seemed to be real..we spent the day together joyously..and when the night ended..he bid me goodbye..I held his hands tightly cause I didn't want to lose him again..but he loosened my grip and suddenly he walked away from me..and at the other end of the road..I saw Febby was waiting for him...I ran towards him, but suddenly someone came from nowhere..pulled my hand and made me stop running..I didn't have any intention to know the person who pulled me away..until I heard Andy's voice from afar..." Elis, see through your heart..you'll find the answer.."..then he held Febby's hand and with smiles, they vanished through the thin air..
Then I saw the person who pulled my hand..that someone is really familiar..I know him..
And I kept dreaming of this over and over again recently...
I just don't get it..
Why do I have to be dreaming of the same dream..It's been 3 weeks now ..dreaming of the same thing..
What could it be..??
Is this some kinda sign ??
A sign for what??
It makes me wonder lately...Is this some kinda sign that I have to let go of my beloved Andy and be with the person who pulled my hand....
Hmmm...it's so hard to tell..
I hope I can find the answer as what Andy told me in the dream..
I wish I could..for God knows best..
Rest in peace to my dear Andy and Febrina..for I love both of you so much..
May both of you happy together up there..

I HAVE TO BE HONEST..

Today..I just don't know how I felt..all mixed up..
I received a dress n a ring ..
and yet I still feel something missing..
for a normal girl , she must be happy and overwhelm to received that kinda gift..
but me..hmm..I just don't know how I felt..
I felt indifferent..
I really felt guilty towards that guy..cause I don't love him in return..
I just can't force myself to love someone that I don't have sparks within..
I really don't mean to hurt his feeling by saying I can't love him back..
It's not my intention at all..for I know how he felt rite now..
I know exactly how it felt to be in love with someone who don't love u in return..
I really know it..It really hurts even if I didn't say it out loud..but it hurts so much..
That's why I don't feel at ease rite now coz I know someone's hurt because of me..
But what else can I say..I don't want to play with someone's heart..
Never in my life, to say that I'm in love with someone for I'm not.. 
For me love is very sacred..
You just can't play around with love..for it also involved others..n others' hearts too..
I have to admit that I'm a loyal type of girl..(promoting myself hahahah!!)
But I guess I made the rite decision tonite, cause I have to be honest to myself n him as well..
I have to stop blaming myself for this...(caiyo2 Elis!!)
I hope I did make the rite decision too..for God knows best..
But now, something pop up in my mind..
Is there anyone out there could love me like he did..??..
(ooopppsss..Elis stop that thinking..hahhah!!)
He sent this poem in my inbox just now...

I find my happiness in loving you.
Though my love is not returned,
I don't mind waiting.

The woods are a cathedral where I pray
For the beauty and grace
that lie within my heart.

You hold me and we kiss, and yet not yet
Is there the unity that love must crave.

You don't want me, not as I want you:
This truth is like a wreckage on my sea.

There's no one else I hunger for, nor touch
That makes me feel I must take off my skin;

And so I'll wait as years pile up like leaves,
And long with the lonely patience of the moon.

I'm not yet replying to that poem..hehehhe..got to think what I should write..hehhehe..

That's all 4 now I guess..

LIGHT WRITING

I don't feel at ease today..trying to finish my works..but still not yet finished..
Seems like my mind wandering somewhere else..
Don't know what went wrong..
Feeling empty..
I just want to share this video..nice song..hahahahha

LIGHT WRITING by LIYANA FIZI

Looking back at last September
Two years gone I can’t remember
When it all began

Swimming in a cloud of memories
Did I call you, did you ring me?
And did I pick up any?

‘Cause I can’t recall
Every word from your rhyme
You walked away
Said I’m wrong but its fine
Tragedy happens in a wonderful time

And I fell for the wrong mission
Drowning in slow motion
Lucky I found
The photograph

This is not the way it used to be
With me pretending you and me
But I can’t see the way you see me

You tried to
Help me out
But it seems
It didn’t work out
The more you say
The less I can look up

‘Cause I can’t recall
Every word from your rhyme
You walked away
Said I’m wrong but its fine
Tragedy happens in a wonderful time

And I fell for the the wrong mission
Drowning in slow motion
Lucky I found
The photograph

Show me something, someone
That I left behind
I know it’s worth a thousand words
I know

PS: Tragedy happens in a wonderful time...hmmm...I wonder what???? hehhehe..

" POST GRAD "

It's been a while since my last post..sorry for  my late update..


Today I just wanna share about a movie that I watch on Star Movies today titled "POST GRAD"..
It's a romantic comedy, one of my favourite film genres..
It's about the struggle of a 22 years old girl finding a job after graduation..
When I see the girl, I kinda see my own reflection..(not exactly all) but there are  some..


What I wanted to highlight is about one of the quote from the movies..
It really touched my heart..


"  What you do with your life is just one-half of the equation more importantly it's who you're with when you're doing it."


It really reminds me of those who are always with me through good and bad times..
It really reminds me of some of my friends in fb, who always give me support when I'm down and don't know where to turn to..( especially with the depart of my best friend, Febby)..


In the movie, the girl seems not to appreciate the one who always be with her and care for her..all she's thinking is about herself and how to achieve her ambition..she only realises it until the last minute..


When I came to think about it, I used to be that girl..always thinking of my ambition and not the people around me..that's why I felt deeply touched by the movie..


I just don't wanna talk much on this..so I just wanna share the movie trailer here..

PS: Nice movie to watch..(^_^)..
      And for the friends in FB that always give me support and 
      willing to lend their ears, and care so much for me..
      I just wanna say that I really appreciate it..thanx all..