NOT A LEADING LADY...

Tonite is the fifth time I watch my favorite movie THE HOLIDAY..and everytime I watch it..I always cry over this part of conversations........

Arthur Abbott: You know what I've been asking myself all night? 

Iris: What? Why I'm bothering you with all these questions? 

Arthur Abbott: I'm wondering why a beautiful girl like you would go to a strangers' house for their Christmas Vacation, and on top of that spend Saturday night with an old cock-up like me. 

Iris: Well, I just wanted to get away from all the people I see all the time!... Well, not all the people... one person. I wanted to get away from one... guy. 

[she sobs] 

Iris: An ex-boyfriend who just got engaged and forgot to tell me. 

Arthur Abbott: So, he's a schmuck. 

Iris: As a matter of fact, he is... a huge schmuck. How did you know? 

Arthur Abbott: He let you go. This is not a hard one to figure out. Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend. 

Iris: You're so right. You're supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for god's sake! Arthur, I've been going to a therapist for three years, and she's never explained anything to me that well. That was brilliant. Brutal, but brilliant..

I always like this part of conversation said by Arthur Abbott...

" Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend. "

And this is what I would like to say in return....

Well Arthur, I'm not Iris, but I've always been a best friend. I'm good at that. I don't know how to behave like a leading lady....

..but Arthur, if being a best friend can make me happy, at least for today, the present, shouldn't I continue being one?

Well, they say that happiness is not a fish that you can catch. May be I should stop fishing...

 Ah... life, always in shades of gray.

I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.